I’m not suggesting that we all get amnesia BUT think for a minute…who would you be if you didn’t know your history? Every day, every minute, we are making decisions and taking action…often based on our past. Sometimes, this is a good thing – “I was successful at this in the past, so I know I can be successful again.” However, many of us stop short of doing things we want because we are still dragging around the pain of failure or fear from the past.
Like bags of rocks
We drag our pain with us wherever we go. A new opportunity shows up or a new idea sparks our interest and immediately our brain digs into that old bag to find a common past experience to judge the “safety” of this new idea. The brain, as wonderful as it is…kind of likes things the way things are (it likes safety) and if trying something new which gave you a sting in the past…your brain will want to remind you!
So what can we do?
First we can notice how our brains work. Taking stock of our mental process is an excellent place to start. Think of something new or something you’d like to do that you haven’t yet made progress toward. What does your brain come up with to keep you from progressing? Become the observer of this process. Once we become the observer, we can recognize that it’s just a process that our brain is going through. The more you observe it, the more you see it and the more you will recognize that it is not your true self, but your brain repeating old patterns.
Some people call these patterns loops, stories, programs or beliefs. Whatever they are called, they are just old experiences and thoughts that keep popping up from the past. They may feel fresh and new. They may seem VERY aplicable to your present situation, but in the end…they are still just regergitated stories/programs of your past with a new flavor or face.
So the question becomes…do you want to be living your present and creating your future out of your past? Granted, learning not to touch the hot stove when you were 4 was and is a valuable lesson. That is truly helpful program. Yet most of us carry about unhelpful programs or beliefs…especially about ourselves.
Recognizing your negative stories is a great place to start!
This is a lot of my focus in coaching. I’ve found that when clients are able to identify the stories they have that are no longer serving them, they have an amazing ah-ha moment. I also find that so much of my coaching involves reminding clients to listen to themselves, to their higher self or true self, not their ego wrapped up in loops and stories.
So next time you hear a loop going on in your head…first ask yourself: Is it true? Is it REALLY true? and then ask: Does this loop, belief, story progress my life?
If not, it’s time to replace it with a new, more empowering story and start feeding the new story OR drop the story completely! Since old one was made up, so too can the next one be created anew, and this time you can make up a truly GREAT one!
Contact me today to set up your coaching call – What’s holding you back?” firstname.lastname@example.org.
Austin, TX, Stress Management Coaching, seminars, workshops, speaking.