What are the limits of your life? What are your limitations? Do you like to argue for them? Are you addicted to your excuses? Like to stay stuck? Enjoy the comfort of familiar complaint? What you believe is what you achieve. Don’t forget it!
Okay, okay, I know what you’re thinking… it’s true…there are some real limitations in our world. Yes, it is true that if a person jumps off something high without a glider or parachute, they probably won’t fly. True. It is true that if someone wanted to become a different person all together, physically and mentally, it might be a bit difficult. True. But what I’m talking about are the other limits, the self imposed ones.
Many of us, most of us, spend our lives arguing for limitations that just aren’t real. They are only real in our minds. You might have a long list of why you can’t do the thing that you really want. So, what’s the issue? Why are you talking yourself out of so much? Happy to sit in the suffering pot?
Recognize why you argue for your limitations
Here are some possibilities:
1. If you beat yourself up all the time, chances are, on some level you truly believe in your limitations, mostly due to your loud inner critic who LOVES to tell you how bad you are. Constantly abrading yourself for every little thing? Every thought, every deed? Solution: Stop beating yourself up, absolutely stop it. Catch yourself and stop it. Listen for it when you’re talking and especially pay attention to that inner critic who sometimes just whispers. When you start to listen for it and actively work to stop it, you’ll be amazed. Just remind yourself that you are doing the best you can do right now, it’s ok. Forgive yourself, love yourself AND ABSOLUTELY STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP NOW!
2. You like to use your excuses to keep you from failing….or succeeding. Solution: List your excuses and limitations. Put them down on paper and then look at each and ask : Is this true? Is it really true? If not, strike it and never say it again. If you find an excuse or limitation that may have some validity, look for a work-around. There is ALWAYS a work-around. Don’t kid yourself. Work your way down your list until you’ve gotten them all taken care of. If you still feel stuck…you’ve most likely run into fear. See Fear below, #7.
3. You use your limitations and excuses to keep yourself a Victim. Solution: Work with a Therapist, Counselor, Spiritual Coach, etc. or read books about Victim Mentality. It CAN be changed. You do not have to play victim your whole life. It’s up to you.
4. You use your limitations and excuses to get sympathy. Solution: This is akin to sustaining your position as Victim and getting attention. See Victim above.
5. You speak your limitations and excuses in order to get people to tell you the opposite. Solution: Needing others to overcome your objections of yourself comes from your need for approval from others and lack of self approval. Working on Self-love and Self Worth issues and techniques will help. In the end, the only approval you’ll ever really need is your own.
6. You are comfortable where you are and don’t really want to change anything. Solution: Own it! Stop making excuses and just accept that you are good where you are. There is nothing wrong and nothing needs to be fixed. Be yourself, own your stuff and stop telling a story about something you don’t even want.
7. You are NOT comfortable where you are but are afraid to change things. Solution: Your key here is Fear. Remember, Fear is only an emotion. We ALLLLLLLLL have it. Never think you’re alone on this one. It’s a biggie and the main block to most individual progress. Remember, fear is trying (most of the time) to protect us from some perceived threat. It’s good to pick apart your fear in regard to the issue and ask; “What am I really afraid of”? What is the worst that could happen? What would that look like? How would that feel?” Many times, facing the fear and looking at it deeply and asking …ok, “so what?” will take a lot of the energy out. Go all the way down the rabbit hole to the “worst case scenario” and get to the worst of it and see if you can handle that in your mind. Chances are…you can. Fear is most powerful when we don’t really know what we fear, we just know that it feels bad…so we don’t even want to look that way. But the moment you dissect it, it will lose a great deal of it’s power. There are lots of great books on Fear and you can work with a coach or counselor to work through stuff that seems sticky. Remember, it’s smart to ask for help, less smart not to.
So, the main issues we’re dealing with are Fear and unworthiness. And…in the end, they are simply emotions and emotions can be handled. Emotions are funny things, when we turn to them, acknowledge them, allow them some room to breathe, they calm down a LOT. When we get to their roots…then we identify what we can do about it. It is just like your own private little investigation and you are the one that gets to solve the mystery!!! How exciting!!!!